Whether you’re struggling with a tense relationship or you’re looking to strengthen your current one, validation is an important communication tool. The ability to validate someone’s feelings or perspective allows for healthy, productive discussions that may help to avoid escalation of arguments and get you both closer to a solution. However, when used incorrectly, validation can be hurtful and damaging. Invalidation conveys to people that their experience isn’t valid, which is a core element of many mental health problems including cutting, burning and injuring behaviors.
Invalidation is also the root cause of a person’s inability to tolerate negative emotions, which leads them to seek approval and acceptance from others. The problem is that people seeking approval tend to only receive negative feedback from others, so they end up with a warped view of their own worthiness and self-worth. The best way to avoid this trap is to learn how to communicate validation in a healthy, constructive manner.
A great starting point for learning to validate is understanding why you seek male validation in the first place. For some women, this could be as simple as noticing that compliments from men make them feel good, or for others, it might be as complex as feeling pressured to coddle their male bosses in order to rise the professional ranks. Once you’ve identified the source of your need for male validation, you can take steps to replace it with more positive and healthy forms of self-validation, such as setting healthy boundaries, engaging in self-care, and embracing vulnerability. words of validation for men